Forcing Eli to hate me shatters my heart. 

It devastates me more than watching him fall back into the arms of his ex-girlfriend. 

It cuts deeper than pretending I don’t care. 

But I do it to protect his future happiness; I do it for him.

Eli swallows the lies I feed him and exhales them as twisted truths. 

He discovers my secret and embraces the anguish crippling my soul. 

Relentless. Determined. Desperate.

I couldn’t push him away again if I tried. 

And I’m done trying.